Saturday, 10 August 2013

The Female Doctor Arrives: a fan's love letter to the sexists

I never imagined that writing an article where I simply raised the question of whether or not it was time for a female Doctor Who would get such an insane reaction. Apart from the many who simply said they would rather the Doctor remained a man (fair enough!), there was also numerous so-terrifying-it-was-positively-hilarious comments on the article, ranging from the notion that I was simply being PC for PC's sake to the belief that a woman as the Doctor would never work because she would be on her period and doing her make-up all the time.

So, in answer to all those narrow-minded sexists, I have written my own little intro for a new Doctor who likes to go on adventures, take a companion along for the ride and visit new worlds. She also happens to be a woman. 

Matt Smith's Doctor is no more and his overly long locks have grown even further into those of a female. 

Doctor: I'm a woman! Oh this is going to be fun! Wait, where did Clara go?

Assistant: She had to leave. Figured it was time for her to go, seeing as she'd already saved you over and over. Some women just can't help saving you, huh?

Doctor: Yeah I do kind of bring that out of people don't I. Well, women. Ooh like me now!

Assistant: But I thought Timelords were all men?

Doctor: Why?

Assistant: Well it is Timelord isn't it?

Doctor: So? Who do you think gives birth to them all?

Assistant: I guess. 

Doctor: Besides. You're all human aren't you. I mean there isn't a huwoman race out there I've been missing is there?

Assistant: Nope. Just us.

Doctor: Wait up. You're a guy!

Assistant: Yup. Sometimes guys want to be whisked away by a woman for an adventure you know. Times change.

Doctor: Excellent! Where shall we go first then? I'm driving.

So where should they go next?

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