Sunday, 17 July 2011

Top 10 film insults

Ever watch a film and wish you had the courage to insult the way they do? It always seems more poetic and witty or just hilariously vulgar. Here are ten to make you wince ... or laugh, depending on your mood:

10. Sex and the City
I curse the day you were born.

Charlotte plots what she would say if she saw Mr Big again after what he did to best friend Carrie. Then, while heavily pregnant and eating alone, she gets her chance. It would have had a lot more clout if she didn't then go into labour and need his help to get to the hospital. Funny.

9. Scary Movie
Shorty: Yo mother!
Brenda: You my brother, that's your mother too, jackass.
Shorty: Oh yeah..well, then your father's stupid! Ha ha ha.
Brenda: So? I don't know him.

Possibly the best comeback to a "yo mother" insult ever uttered.

8. Anchorman
You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don't you go back to your home on whore island?

Up there with the best of them, Anchorman has some of the greatest one-liners ever uttered in cinema. This is just one of the many insults Ron Burgundy throws at his co-anchor Veronica Corningstone.

7. Saving Private Ryan
I mean, picture a girl who just took a nosedive from the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down.

Matt Damon really knows how to paint a picture when he tells a story.

6. Much Ado About Nothing
Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.

If you want insults that pack a wordy punch, you can't beat a bit of Shakespeare for pure class.

5. Clueless
You're a virgin who can't drive.

Brittany Murphy keeping it to the point.

4. Parenthood
Well, I thought someone in this house ought to be having sex - I mean with something that doesn't require batteries.

Has there ever been a meaner insult to someone's mum on screen? She follows it up saying that she should go before she says anything she'll regret... it gets worse?

3. A Fish Called Wanda
You pompous stuck up snot nosed English giant twirp scum bag f**k face dickhead asshole.

Kevin Kline plays the stereotypical arrogant American perfectly.

2. Battle Royale
You ugly shrimpy nit!

This one may have lost something in translation but it remains one of the funniest insults I've ever heard as our heroine is hiding from the school bullies in the toilet and gets this classic thrown at her.

1. Monty Python's The Holy Grail
I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.

Has there ever been a funnier, more bizarre insult than this? The french taunting scene is one of the funniest scenes in cinema history and goes on and on and on...

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