Wednesday, 6 July 2011

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

The plot makes absolutely no sense, the film goes on for 3 hours, Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley (AKA Megan Fox Part Deux) cannot act (but damn can she pout and strut). Yes you've guessed it folks - I loved it! Well come on I wasn't exactly expecting witty dialogue and Oscar winning performances. The only times I got even close to emotional was when Bumblebee was in danger coz let's face it - he's the best character in the whole Transformers saga.

I'd try to explain the plot but believe me there's very little point. Some of our favourite humans and transformers are back (basically everyone BUT Megan Fox) for more action but this time they are joined by some new faces... the always brilliant Frances McDormand is on top form as always and McDreamy himself Patrick Dempsey playing, well let's face it - a bit of a doosh! Who knew? (Please ladies, you still would!)

Oh and if Sam's mum and dad and their crazy, massive beast of an RV aren't comedy value enough for you then at least you have RHW's perfectly clean white jacket that seems to repel dirt throughout the battle sequences. Come on guys, even Megan Fox got dirty. Yeah, so dirty is Megan that friends of mine came up with a dirtier version to the classic "That's what she said" game to "That's what Megan Fox said". I doubt RHW has even heard of it. Not only does the jacket remain perfectly white and crisp - even after she's thrown around a collapsing building like a barbie doll -  but her face and hair and that perfectly glossed mouth remain ready for a poolside photoshoot at a moment's notice. Though many have dubbed her as being a Megan Fox clone, after a while we thought perhaps it was Zoolander she modelled her facial expressions on...
Picture Courtesy of Collider

"Why do the decepticons always get the good shit" Tyrese Gibson yells as a hole digging mammoth of a Decepticon is tunneling its way through their building - well they dont have the washing detergent RHW uses so they dont have everything!
While the effects used to create the transforming Autobots and Decepticons were as amazing as always, bizarrely the opening section of the film fell flat as it used fancy effects to have fictional conversations with now deceased presidents. Come on now - if Forrest Gump can do it, it shouldn't be that hard!

Definitely one to add to the so bad they're actually quite good pile...

3/5 FOBLES it may be bad but it does what it sets out to do so damn well :)

Enjoy! xxx (if you like that sort of thing)

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