Ever had the discussion about who would be at your dream dinner party - alive or dead? People's lists normally include all sorts of people from Lady Gaga to JFK ... but what if you could have a dinner party with your favourite fictitious characters from book or film? Who would you invite? Here is my selection for a dream dinner party... My dream list of guests is as follows:
Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
Ron Burgundy (Anchorman)
Ron Weasley (Harry Potter)
Jacob Black (Twilight Saga)
The Doctor (in the form of David Tennant please!)
Aragorn (Lord of the Rings)
Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice)
Vianne Rocher (Chocolat)
Sugar Kane Kowalczyk (Some Like it Hot)
Princess Leia (Star Wars)
Yvaine (Stardust)
Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)
Jean Louise ‘Scout’ Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)
At the start of the night (in the drinking, pre-eating stage of the evening) Scout would be allowed to stay up with her dad to meet the guests and would have her friend Lisa Simpson to talk to once when had been sent upstairs to bed (wouldn’t they just have the best chats ever!) Friendships that might begin over the first course: Atticus Finch and Elizabeth Bennett. I imagine, as they are both moral but quietly daring for their times, they would get on really well. I can also see Ron Weasley and Jacob Black getting on… that is, unless Jacob sees Ron as one of the pale faces. Yvaine and Princess Leia could talk out of world experiences with the Doctor and compare notes on which planet is the most interesting – or amusing to watch. Ron Burgundy would probably want to “be on” Sugar, and she might just go for it (fuzzy end of the lollipop in that moustache) – unless Aragorn steps in to be her knight in shining armour.And the lovely Vianne, who would no doubt get along with everybody, would bring us the most delectable assortment of treats for dessert. And as for me? I would be chatting to Elizabeth Bennett and Yvaine as much as I could, having heated debates over moral issues with Atticus and Aragorn and drooling over David Tennant’s Doctor, wishing he would transport me to somewhere really cool. Sugar and Ron Burgundy would be making me laugh all evening and I could spend hours listening to Vianne talk about chocolate. I would be a little overly friendly with Jacob Black and get him to hug me (shirt optional). I would ask Ron W about how his family are doing and get him to teach me a few spells. And though I would love to see them in the flesh I opted out of inviting the rugged and oh so sexy Mr Rochester and Mr Darcy because let’s face it – they’d make horrible dinner party guests. Rochester would be snapping at people and making them feel awkward and Darcy would just be brooding off in a corner, staring at Elizabeth.
So who would be at your dream dinner party and why....?
Ever watch a film and wish you had the courage to insult the way they do? It always seems more poetic and witty or just hilariously vulgar. Here are ten to make you wince ... or laugh, depending on your mood:
10. Sex and the City I curse the day you were born.
Charlotte plots what she would say if she saw Mr Big again after what he did to best friend Carrie. Then, while heavily pregnant and eating alone, she gets her chance. It would have had a lot more clout if she didn't then go into labour and need his help to get to the hospital. Funny.
9. Scary Movie Shorty: Yo mother! Brenda: You my brother, that's your mother too, jackass. Shorty: Oh yeah..well, then your father's stupid! Ha ha ha. Brenda: So? I don't know him.
Possibly the best comeback to a "yo mother" insult ever uttered.
8. Anchorman You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don't you go back to your home on whore island?
Up there with the best of them, Anchorman has some of the greatest one-liners ever uttered in cinema. This is just one of the many insults Ron Burgundy throws at his co-anchor Veronica Corningstone.
7. Saving Private Ryan I mean, picture a girl who just took a nosedive from the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down.
Matt Damon really knows how to paint a picture when he tells a story.
6. Much Ado About Nothing Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such a face as yours were.
If you want insults that pack a wordy punch, you can't beat a bit of Shakespeare for pure class.
5. Clueless You're a virgin who can't drive.
Brittany Murphy keeping it to the point.
4. Parenthood Well, I thought someone in this house ought to be having sex - I mean with something that doesn't require batteries.
Has there ever been a meaner insult to someone's mum on screen? She follows it up saying that she should go before she says anything she'll regret... it gets worse?
3. A Fish Called Wanda You pompous stuck up snot nosed English giant twirp scum bag f**k face dickhead asshole.
Kevin Kline plays the stereotypical arrogant American perfectly.
2. Battle Royale You ugly shrimpy nit!
This one may have lost something in translation but it remains one of the funniest insults I've ever heard as our heroine is hiding from the school bullies in the toilet and gets this classic thrown at her.
1. Monty Python's The Holy Grail I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of elderberries.
Has there ever been a funnier, more bizarre insult than this? The french taunting scene is one of the funniest scenes in cinema history and goes on and on and on...
